


time moves slow, when half of your heart has yet to come home

by RainbowRandomness



Category: Z Nation (TV)
Genre: Afterlife, Canonical Character Death, Episode Related, Family, Family Feels, Gen, Murphy Family Feels, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 15:46:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12684927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowRandomness/pseuds/RainbowRandomness
Summary: "I had a good life. My life."





	time moves slow, when half of your heart has yet to come home

**Author's Note:**

> man that episode hit me hard. I was crying my fucking eyes out, and I'd seen a spoiler about it about two days before the episode aired for me. I was sobbing like a damn baby, I tells ya
> 
> I got a lot of Murphy Family Feels and needed to get this out my system. I wish they could have been a family together; it was tough enough when Serena died, but Lucy as well... I can't wait to watch the next episode and cry about that shit too tbh
> 
> anyway, I might write more Murphy Family Feels in the future, but for now, enjoy
> 
> Title from _West_ by Sleeping At Last

She couldn’t feel him anymore.

The connection she felt with her dad was a special one, unlike most any would ever feel. Addy had told her that some people felt something similar to what she felt, but nothing quite as intense, nothing quite as real. Even when she was growing up with Ma and Pa in the cottage, she was still able to feel her dad and knew when he was happy or sad, or in trouble. She could feel him in the way her heart pounded, or her blood rushed through her veins, and every time she smiled she was sure he was smiling too. She could feel him in her bones, down to her very core, and knew he could feel her as well.

When their connection had broken, she had felt empty. The feeling inside of her, something that she had always felt, was suddenly gone, and a hollow space where the warmth of their bond once rested beneath her ribcage was left behind.

She hadn’t understood it at first, had sobbed into her knees as she desperately searched within herself for the feeling that was no longer there. When she tried to explain it to Addy, she had merely looked at her sadly and told her that they had to start moving. She realised soon afterwards the words that Addy wouldn’t speak and though she wished she could deny them, as time slipped by, she couldn’t help but consider her father’s death a viable possibility.

Reconnecting with her dad one last time was something she was thankful she had managed; when she bit him the first time, something within her burst, like a candle suddenly catching flame. She could feel him again, however weak the connection was, and she clung to it desperately, her chest aching with the familiar feeling of being linked with her dad again after so long. When the others had left them alone and he began to spasm, she knew she couldn’t let her dad die. She bit him repeatedly, over and over again, and with each bite she could feel their bond growing stronger, bursting like a firework inside her.

It wasn’t until she collapsed on top of him and woke to find herself aged far beyond her years that the thought that this might be the last time she felt him occurred to her.

She had watched as a tear ran down the bridge of his nose and fell from the tip, landing on the blue of her cheek, wrinkled far older than the years she had been alive. She rested her hand against his chest, feeling his heart beat beneath her palm and the warmth of their link radiate against her skin. She leant her head against his chest, wishing to curl up into her dad’s embrace one final time; she wished she had been able to do this sooner in less dire times.

His arms had been firm where he held her, keeping her as close to him as possible, and his body had shaken with the force of his sobs. He tried to still himself so he could keep her as comfortable as possible in her last moments, and she wished she could tell him she appreciated the effort.

_“I had a good life. My life.”_

She opens her eyes to a blue sky. Beneath her she can feel grass poking into the back of her neck and tickling her cheeks. There’s a gentle breeze that carries across and when she strains to hear anything, she’s met with nothing but the whistling of the wind.

The lack of noise or movement should make her feel uneasy, and yet she feels completely calm. She moves to sit up from where she was lying on the ground and looks around her, trying to pinpoint where she could be. She doesn’t recognise where she is beyond the fact that she’s in the middle of a field. From where she’s sat amongst the grass, she can see trees and, further into the distance atop a hill, she can make out a wooden cottage.

Something about the cottage pulls at something inside her. She stares at the building, trying to make out any of its features, but it’s too far away for her to make out any details that would let her know if she recognises it or not. She moves to stand, brushing off her jeans as she does so, and begins to walk in the direction of the wooden cottage on the hill.

The tugging sensation increases the closer she gets to the house. It’s a familiar feeling, like the warmth of the connection with her dad, but different somehow, as though it’s something entirely new. She can’t place the feeling, just knows that whatever this newfound link is, it’s pulling her towards the cottage, and she knows she’ll find what she’s looking for when she gets there.

She runs her hands over the grass as she walks, the blades of grass tickling the palms of her hands. When she looks down she notices the skin of her hands, smooth and young, as they were before, and she pauses to marvel at them for a moment, awestruck that she’s no longer an old woman in this world.

The tugging sensation begins again in her chest, an ache that forces her to refocus her efforts on getting to the cottage. She’s already so close, and she can see some of its features now; there are bushes adorned with flowers beneath the windows, and a washing line outside with clothes hung out to dry. The front door is open, and one of the windows to the side of the house is propped open, a pie resting on the ledge to cool down.

It looks cosy and homely, warm and well loved. It spurs her to move closer, and as she begins to make her way across the hill towards the house, she finally spots someone outside; she can see someone hidden behind the clothes on the washing line, their form bending down to collect more clothes from a basket by their feet.

It isn’t until she draws slightly closer that the person steps out from behind the washing line and spots her across the way, and the warmth of the link that she can feel grows within her, enveloping her bones until she’s left breathless with the sensation of it.

_“Mom?”_

Serena’s face lights up with a smile and she runs, runs towards her mom, watching as she kneels down with her arms open wide, waiting for her. She can feel her blonde curls bounce around her ears, her skirt flap around her small legs, and when she reaches out her hands to clasp around her mother’s neck, she’s a child again, small enough for her mother to wrap her arms around and hold tightly to her.

Lucy buries her face against her mother’s neck and breathes; finally, she’s home.

**Author's Note:**

> come follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/RainbowRandoms) and [tumblr](http://rainbow-randomness.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I do not give permission to have any of my works put up on goodreads or any other such site.


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